Is your child doing okay all year and then suddenly falling apart when spring hits?
If you have a child with autism or an anxiety diagnosis, this might sound familiar: the school year is almost over, and somehow that’s when everything gets harder. More meltdowns. More school refusal. More tears at drop-off.
You’ve tried the strategies the school counselor suggested. They’re not working.
You’re not imagining it and your child is not just “being difficult.” Spring is a real trigger for neurodiverse kids, and the standard advice most schools give was simply not made with your family in mind.
In this episode of The Parenting Cipher, Genie sat down with Jodi Aman therapist, author, and anxiety expert to break down what’s actually happening in your child’s body and mind, and what Black and brown families can do that actually works.
The end of the school year looks like celebration from the outside. Field trips, ceremonies, moving up. But for kids with autism or anxiety, change is hard and the whole structure their brain depends on is about to disappear.
Think about it this way: your child has spent months learning the rules of this school year. Their class, their seat, their teacher, their routine. Spring means all of that is ending. For a neurodiverse child, that is not exciting. That is a threat.
Add in standardized testing pressure, field day chaos, and a classroom that is off-schedule every other week and you have a body running on high alert with no off switch.
Most anxiety support in schools is designed for a very specific kind of child and family. The advice “use a calm-down corner,” “take deep breaths,” “practice gratitude” — is not wrong exactly. But it misses the full picture of what’s happening in your home.
“Anxiety comes with all our other problems, right. It’s like, attached to them, and it doesn’t really separate from anything because it’s so connected to our biology, our mind, our emotions, and really our spirituality, too.”
— Jodi Aman
For families, anxiety is often layered. There is the anxiety your child feels at school. And then there is the anxiety that has been passed down a protective fear that generations of Black parents have taught their children because the world is not always safe.
Black and brown parents teach their children to stay alert, to be careful, to know how to move in spaces that were not built for them. That is not a mistake that is love and wisdom.
But it can also send a message the child doesn’t need to carry at school: You are not safe here. Stay on guard.
The work is not to unlearn the protection. It is to help your child know the difference between real danger and school stress — so their nervous system can rest when it is allowed to.
Anxiety is not just worry. It is not your child being dramatic or too sensitive. Anxiety is a fear response the same system in the body that tells you to run from danger. The problem is, that system does not always know the difference between a tiger and a math test.
“The anxiety does not protect us, right? That’s important to know.”
— Jodi Aman
Your child’s body is sounding an alarm but the alarm is stuck. And when you try to calm that alarm by telling your child to “just toughen up” or “stop worrying,” all you are doing is asking them to feel alone with something their body is convinced is real.
That is not their fault. And it is not yours either.
Anxiety grows in silence. When your child knows you can say the word — “this is anxiety, it is not the truth about you or your world” — the shame lifts. And when shame lifts, kids can start to learn.
You do not have to accept vague suggestions. You have the right to ask your child’s teacher or counselor: “What is the specific plan to support my child’s anxiety in the classroom?” Not general tips. A plan.
If your child has an IEP or 504, spring is the time to review accommodations for emotional regulation and add what is missing.
It is teaching. Help your child understand: “At home, we stay careful. At school, your body can rest. You are watched over here.” That message repeated and real is more powerful than any breathing exercise.
“When you build that self trust, you really are healing that trauma. Like our epigenetics says that, you know, when things happen to us, it does change or affect our DNA.”
— Jodi Aman
Instead of solving every anxious moment for your child, give them a chance to solve small problems themselves. Ask: “What do you think you could do?” Then let them try. That is how self-worth is built.
When kids can name what they are feeling “my body is scared even though I am safe” they gain power over it. This is what Jodi’s work centers. Not suppressing anxiety. Understanding it.
When you meet with your child’s teacher or counselor, here are three things you can say:
You are not being difficult. You are advocating. And your child needs you to be their voice in that room.
Jodi Aman is a therapist and author who has spent more than 20 years helping young people and families understand and manage anxiety — not just control the symptoms, but find real agency and self-worth. Her book, Anxiety…I’m So Done With You, gives teens direct tools they can actually use. Her TEDx talk and speaking work reach families whose needs are often overlooked in mainstream mental health spaces.
For Black and brown parents raising neurodiverse children, Jodi’s approach goes beyond “just calm down.” She centers self-trust, resilience, and the kind of empowerment that lasts.
You are not raising a broken child. You are raising a child whose nervous system is responding to a world that was not built with them in mind — and they have a parent doing the research to change that.
This is hard, and you are not doing it wrong.
If you want more tools like this, join the Beacon Resource Library at The Parenting Cipher . And if this episode helped you, share it with the parent in your circle who needed to hear it today.