What parents do to educate their offspring transforms into shared development. Each emotional crisis of your child is not intended to challenge your authority, but means they want to connect emotionally with you. Most traditional parenting approaches prefer disciplinary actions like time-outs along with punishments and established consequences, instead of showing empathy and establishing comprehension.
Our current method of parenting might be flawed because we start from an incorrect direction. The most successful approach in parenting might run counter to control methods and instead focus primarily on making connections with children.
It is basic human instinct to desire children who behave well. A focus on behavioral constraints has the unintended effect of limiting a child from expressing their natural emotional demands. This calm behavior masks internal fear that hides the real emotions of the child.
Children do not behave poorly by nature. Most instances of challenging behavior indicate to us that children experience feelings of disconnection and feelings of being overwhelmed or unsafe. Transformation in parenting occurs when parents view child behavior as meaningful messages instead of disobedience.
Work-related demands together with responsibilities and social stresses cause frequent strain for contemporary parents in their daily lives. Children possess an extraordinary ability which lets them detect missing emotional presence in their lives. The lack of emotional connection leads children to develop self-assurance that their intense feelings find no understanding in the home environment.
Connected parenting offers the following message to children: “I will protect you during your most difficult moments.”
Multiple studies reveal that children who build secure bonds with their parents develop better emotional strength together with self-control abilities which enables proper social growth. Children who experience feelings of acceptance along with being seen and heard preferably develop both accountability and cooperate better in their lives.
Do not rush to a response when your child misbehaves. Before responding take the opportunity to inhale and consider whether this is behavior that needs discipline or if your child requires comfort. Often, it is the latter.
Using expressions such as “I observe your intense distress” or “Your frustration makes complete sense” shows deep understanding to children. Understanding their emotions through your acknowledgment creates a feeling of understanding for your child even though you do not support their inappropriate behavior.
Being dedicated to connection does not represent giving unconditional approval to everything. Emotional presence allows parents to set appropriate limits while showing understanding towards their children. You cannot let me strike you. I understand anger controls you presently although we both need a different way to communicate this emotion.
Whenever parents feel overwhelmed, they occasionally lose control of their emotions. The overall important aspect remains the actions we take afterward. Emotional maturity becomes apparent through apologies and later reconciliation efforts because these actions create stronger trust connections.
Time: Set aside continuo,s separate moments with each child that do not include interruptions. Continued in-distracted sessions of just ten minutes daily work to develop emotional safeguards between parents and their children.
Learning requires consequences that do not carry any built-in harm. The techniques applied to discipline kids should preserve their connection with their parents. An appropriate learning experience emerges from requiring children to clean up what they created. An angry punishment that removes toys has a stronger effect of shaming rather than offering educational value.
The objective should not involve children experiencing punishment for their errors , since the target is to guide their growth through safe relationships.
Maintaining the connection above all else requires a significant effort when making this decision. Developing this approach requires both inner understanding of oneself as well as steady perseverance and possibly unlearning previous parental methods. Long-term advantages establish themselves powerfully when parents choose a connection-based approach.
Children who grow up in emotionally safe homes develop better self-confidence and self-awareness. Such children show decreased likelihood to express behaviors stemming from shame and fear and insecurity. When children age into maturity they gain knowledge about boundaries alongside the ability to empathize and to establish relationships based on health.
Every parent struggles with mistakes during child-rearing but what matters most is being present with children. Your child requires someone who demonstrates appearance rather than faultlessness because visible presence combined with continuous attempts along with choosing love as greater than fear. Look at a challenging situation when your child explodes in emotion or begins acting aggressively. Breathe. Lean in. Choose a connection.